Have you noticed how people with political opinions talk about both parties like they're crazy? Have you observed the belligerence that accompanies the political process, and the demonization and rush-to-judgment attacks on statements made and reported on by the Press?
Of course you have. We all suffer from a temptation to demonize.
Yes, I voted for Sweet Killary, who went to Yale with high hopes. And Barry the Bummer who thwarted her goals. And I voted for Kerry who wore his Purple Heart with pride (but not on his sleeve), even though he married a ketchup tycoon. And I voted for Slick the sax player, before a dress made Killary blue. I voted for Willie even though he might have inhaled. But then later on, I inhaled.
It all goes back to Dukakis. Was there a name for him? I'll make one up. How about Dukakis the Decent, who lost to Bush in my 5th grade mock election, by a margin of 17 to 1.
I didn't really even know anything about Dukakis the Decent, except that I, along with the other 17 classmates who voted against him, laughed and laughed when his only young supporter firmly announced his blue vote in a sea of red 11 year-olds. After each of us had visited the little navy booth in the corner of the classroom, and slyly marked our ballots, a lone Dukakis the Decent advocate took a lonely stand.
He was an island.
Dukakis? I don't know whether or not we were judging this class rebel, but his open statement gave us quite a shock. Clearly Democrats were aliens. Everyone thought so. Our reaction can be compared to the Dowager Countess who said, "Excuse me, everyone. But what is a week-end?"
"He's going to lose," we said, and lose he did. Politics was a sport and we were confused. I felt sorry for him. I might even have felt sorry for Dukakis the Decent.
Fast forward a few years. Around the time puberty reared its head, I started reading Newsweek magazine. Rebellion during my teen years was right there for the taking, sitting squarely on the coffee table, a fresh, glossy weekly arrival to our farm mailbox. I took to heart much of what it had to teach me. The political cartoons were so funny and well drawn. Sometimes I found the stories dull, but muddling through a long article took my mind off my personal woes. I frequently chose the path of most resistance. And I learned.
So that's how I became a Democrat. There are a few votes I look back on with wonder. Why did I think Ketchup Kerry was a good choice, even though he was wealthy? Why did Lockbox Al turn me off, even though I voted for him anyway? And now that people are putting up photos of Michelle embracing George the Painter, should I reevaluate my votes from the past?
We can never really know where the country is going to when we mail in that ballot, pull that lever, or push those buttons. Right now I am again trying to get a Democrat elected. Libertarians should have a voice, and I sympathize with their concerns. So why am I always pushing for ever larger government, ever larger control?
That's a big question for me, and it's one I can't answer without getting muddled in historical and philosophical issues which transcend my ability to communicate about history and philosophy. I should add here that I have cast red votes for local politicians. I think I voted for a Republican Treasurer once. But it probably hurt a little, and I did it on the advice of my mom, who also tends to support Democrats more than she used to.
I guess this brings me to the current Federal Government. We're contending with Drumpf, Moscow Mitch and Nancy Antoinette. During a pandemic and an economic lockdown. Who can lead us? Joe is getting older and Rumple is divisive.
The answer is I do not know.
So we should come up with a term for the average voter. The average person whose ballot might not even be counted, might be lost in a sea of ballots, might not get counted because of a hanging chad. (See Bush v. Gore, 2000).
There you go. The average voter's name is Chad. Chafing Chad. He casts his vote into the void, asserting his conscience against chaos. He chafes against the powers that be. Let's all vote for Chad. Chad who hangs tough and casts his vote anyway.